I escaped domestic abuse – leaving my pets was the hardest

I escaped domestic abuse – leaving my pets was the hardest Anonymous Published December 2, 2025 6:00am Share this article via whatsappShare this article via xCopy the link to this article.Link is copiedShare this article via facebook Our pets were the only thing that brought us joy in our house (Picture: Getty Images)

My dad had always been abusive.

My brothers and I sometimes became his verbal target – he’d call us ‘stupid’ or say things to make us feel small like, ‘Oh, clearly I’m such a bad dad!’ – but it was my mum who often bore the brunt of his anger.

He’d hit her and, one time, I watched on in horror as he grabbed her by the throat and strangled her.

After that particular incident he told me I didn’t see anything, that it never happened.

My dad was a master manipulator who had complete control over us: the house and bills were in his name, and he expected Mum to take care of the food shopping and us kids, despite never giving her any money. 

She used her limited disability income and carer’s allowance to get by.

We all felt pretty isolated. In fact, the only thing to bring us joy at home were our pets: three cats, two rabbits and two Beagles. 

Sadly, even they couldn’t escape my dad’s wrath. While he’d ignore them most of the time, on some occasions he’d actually hit them. 

I locked my pets in my room for fear of their safety (Picture: Getty Images)

My dad made it clear that he didn’t have to let us have our pets. They were his ‘gift’ to us and he could ‘take them away just as easily’.

Terrified it wasn’t an idle threat, I put extra locks on my bedroom door – one on the inside, one on the outside, and a big padlock – to keep us all safe. If I wasn’t home, I kept the animals inside that locked room.

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The older we got, the more the abuse escalated.

After covid, things were more unstable than ever: my older brothers had left home, my younger brother and I were struggling to take care of mum, and I’d taken an evening job in a pub to help us get by.

The police were called a number of times, but Dad always managed to talk his way out of trouble. It felt like we were completely alone, and that no one would help us. 

We knew we needed to escape this situation and so, a couple of years ago, we began packing covertly.

However, one problem remained: we wouldn’t be able to leave with our pets.

Unfortunately, most temporary housing – including specialist domestic abuse refuges – is unable to accept pets. There was no way we could turn up to the council with our suitcases and a car full of animals. 

We had two choices: run, and leave the animals behind, or stay.

I would rather have stayed in that toxic environment indefinitely than leave them to be harmed, so I started researching charities that could look after my animals temporarily. 

We didn’t get to see our pets for three months (Picture: Getty Images/iStockphoto)

Quite quickly I came across Cats Protection Lifeline and the Dogs Trust Freedom Project – both of which offer free, confidential fostering services for owners fleeing domestic abuse. In both cases, cats and dogs could be cared for by a volunteer in their own home until they could be reunited with us.

However, I couldn’t find anywhere that would take in or foster our rabbits.

Luckily, that’s when the woman from Dogs Trust mentioned Break Away – an emergency fostering scheme run by Raystede Centre for Animal Welfare which is open to a variety of animal types, including smaller pets like rabbits.

I immediately made an inquiry, and received a call with an offer to take our rabbits soon after. 

Break Away

Break Away is a animal fostering service run which helps people who are fleeing domestic abuse or facing short-term hospitalisation and can’t take their animals with them.

Break Away accommodate a variety of animals, not just dogs and cats, and match them to caring foster families.

It is a completely confidential service and is ran by an all-female team.

If you or someone you know needs emergency fostering for their animals you can reach out to Break Away at 01825 880468 or [email protected].

Having to declare that my animals weren’t safe felt awful. I felt like I’d failed them.

Finally, with the last piece of our puzzle solved, we could all begin to work towards our freedom.

Dad was threatening to evict us at this point, so we were able to pack our belongings without causing suspicion. But getting the pets out needed to be more strategic.

One friend temporarily took the rabbits until I could drop them off.

I’m not ashamed to say I cried while saying goodbye, watching them being taken off in their carrier.

We had to get our pets away from my abusive father (Picture: Getty Images)

We discreetly dropped off the cats with the staff from Cats Protection Lifeline, at a neutral point and, two days later, we met the team from Dogs Trust in a Sainsbury’s car park.

All we needed now was a call from the council to say they had temporary accommodation for us. The moment we got that call, we threw our suitcases in the car and we were gone.

Sadly, we didn’t get to see or visit any of our pets for three months, but I did get updates every other Thursday from the charities.

‘They love sleeping under the duvet,’ and ‘They’re bothering the birds in the garden,’ read some of the updates. It was really nice hearing the pets still had their personalities and weren’t too traumatised.

But nothing compared to the moment we were reunited with them.

The rabbits were first to return and our temporary house immediately got so much brighter. My brother – who had barely said a word since we moved – was so happy, he’d just lie on the floor with them for hours.

A year later, still in the same house, we were reunited with the cats. And now – just weeks after getting the keys to our new, permanent home – the dogs are home too.

Thanks to Break Away we were reunited with all our pets (Picture: Getty Images)

Life finally feels good.

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The thought of letting our pets go was incredibly hard at the start. But we had to so that we could start a new, better life for them and for us. I’m pleased to say we have that now, and we are happy and thriving.

When you hear about people fleeing domestic violence, you don’t necessarily think about what happens to the pets, but there’s so many people like me who will refuse to leave without securing their safety.

That’s exactly why projects like Raystede’s Break Away, Cats Protection Lifeline and the Dogs Trust Freedom Project are so needed. 

Because they don’t just save the lives of pets, they save the humans, too.

Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing [email protected]. 

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